Tony: Never apologize, never explain.
Pepper: If that’s your philosophy, I can think of another “never” to accompany the first two…
Tony: The last one involved a group called the Wrecking Crew. Spoiler: I crushed it.
Pepper: I’m assuming that’s not the kind of fight you mean, anon. The last time we argued was about a month ago, and had to do with a comment he made at a press conference. Then Tony was injured in a firefight in Los Angeles, and I decided some things were more important than being right.
Tony: Like I said. Crushed. It.
Pepper: It has been a while since we’ve attended to our ask box, hasn’t it? Tony and I have been very busy with the renovations at the Tower, and of course his work with the Avengers keeps him occupied.
I don’t know how close we are to outstripping the competition in the mobile communications arena right now. Certainly Tony’s come up with some pretty innovative designs, but lately a lot of his creative energy has been focused on developing tools for the team.
Tony: Yeah, PottsPhone, let’s make that happen. I’m on it. Like a Blackberry, but sexier. And fewer service interruptions.
Tony: Barring some major life changes I plan to stay Mr. Stark for the foreseeable future.
(I wouldn’t change my name, but I might consider hyphenating.)
Tony: My social security number.
P.S., she’s not taller than me in heels, and she has a very long memory for a grudge. She gets that from her mother.
Pepper: There was no interview. We met by chance; he offered me the job because I happened to be wearing a short skirt, and I accepted because I had student loans I was trying to pay off.
Tony: She was working in accounting and she found a mistake in my numbers that would have cost the company billions. Then she barged into my office to tell me about it and wouldn’t leave until I heard her out.
My dad always used to say, if you find someone who can do your job better than you can, hire them and delegate. So I did.
As little as possible. I hate clothes. Sometimes I spend the entire day naked!
I apologize to all of our devoted readers. As you can probably guess, the above response was not actually written by me. Apparently even the most sophisticated of randomly generated passwords are no match for a certain genius wunderkind.
If I’m not going out, I usually wear a t-shirt and either jeans or yoga pants. Occasionally I live dangerously and wear shorts.
Tony: I don’t want to embarrass her too much because then she’ll stop doing it. I will say that the last time she used language that would make a sailor blush.
Pepper: Nope! Never happened.
Pepper: We’ve been asked variations on this question before. It’s a nickname that Tony gave me when we first started working together.
In spite of the fact that he has an eidetic memory, Tony is terrible with names, primarily because he doesn’t listen when he’s working on something. It took him a couple of weeks to notice that I was not his previous assistant, after which he tried out a variety of nicknames (all of which I vetoed) before he settled on this one.
I don’t know how he came up with it—every time I ask, he gives me a different answer.
Tony: Not true, I noticed her right away. Also: freckles.
Things have been busy around the office as of late, but we haven’t forgotten about you, and we hope you haven’t forgotten about us.